A Beautiful Unbalanced Exchange
God met me more than halfway, he freed me from my anxious fears. Look at him; give him your warmest smile. Never hide your feelings from him.” - Psalms 34:4-5 (Message)
Fear, Anger, Shame, Repeat. This has been the cycle I’ve grappled with for as long as I can remember, but I refuse to pass it along to my kids. My children will experience the divine through how I treat them.
Sure, I want to be special. I want to stand out, be recognized, admired, adored, desired, respected, loved, cherished, looked to, and looked at. But why? Insecurity, shyness, fearfulness, lack of confidence, weakness, incapability, feeling unworthy, and unlovable - these are the reasons. But Jesus changes all of this. The pursuit, the journey, is Him and more of Him. The destination is meaningless. I've spent years chasing destinations like strength, peace, security, confidence, and more. But the path I walked was mine, influenced by what I saw, and also of my own making. Forget the destination, the end state, and the places I'll find myself. The process, the journey, is Jesus. It's not just in him, through him, and because of him; it is him. Not works, not possibilities, not the supernatural - just Jesus. Not fruits of the Spirit, not byproducts of "good" living. It starts and ends with Jesus.
“What delight comes to you who mourn over your sins & repent, for you will see the face of who you long for.” - Matthew 5:4 (Passion & Amplified)
“Jesus is not a taker; he’s an exchanger.”
Sin starts with my unbelief, uncertainty, doubt, and distrust in Jesus - in what he said, what he did, what he’s done; and what he’s doing. All sin finds its roots in this: I need Jesus. When he has not been given lordship over something, sin grows. The root of sin is being disconnected from the vine. When I get disconnected from the vine, sin becomes the byproduct. This is the “deep spiritual issue.” The solution is to remain. Abide. Pursue. Begin by being honest.
I’ve been redeemed.
I’ve exchanged my nonsense for his life.
I gave Jesus anger, and he gave me compassion.
I gave him jealousy, and he gave me confidence.
I gave him confusion, and he gave me understanding.
I gave him fear, and he gave me peace.
I gave him insecurity, and he gave me love.
I gave him a mess, and he gave me clarity.
I gave him pain, and he gave me purpose.
I gave him the past, and he gave me reason.
I gave him my future, and he gave me possibilities.
I gave him my being, and he gave me his heart.
I gave him addiction, and he gave me stability.
I gave him hope, and he gave me plans.
“If you want to save your life, you will lose it, but if you lose your life because of me and the good news, you will save it.” - Mark 8:25 (Free)
*The Aramaic word for life can also mean self, or person - IDENTITY. “My Truth.”
“For if you let your life [self, identity, control, truth] go for my sake and for the sake of the gospel, you will continually experience true life [self]. But if you choose to keep your life [self, identity, control, truth] for yourself, you will forfeit what you try to keep.” - Mark 8:35 (Passion)
“All who are obsessed with being secure in life will lose it all—including their lives. But those who let go of their lives and surrender them to me will discover true life.” - Luke 17:33 (Passion)
Jesus is not a taker; he’s an exchanger, a redeemer. The things he asks for and instructs us to give him are so that he can give us something better in exchange. It is the only truly unfair thing in this life. I give Jesus all my dead effort and nonsense, and he gives me life. Purpose. Potential. Opportunity. A way forward or a way out. The ability to endure. Safety to make myself at home with him.
“Begin by being honest.”
May we find ourselves able to enjoy what’s been given. Let’s learn how, together.
